FAQ

Synthetic Urine

  • Does your urine have uric acid? Our product does contain the correct amount of uric acid as well as all the other elements found in real human urine.  Serious Monkey Bizzness urine is the most complete artificial urine on the market today.  Ours passes muster every time!  Furthermore, ours is one of the very few to achieve the look and feel of real urine every time.

 

  • Do your products work for both men and women?  Yes, they do.  There is nothing in urine that would identify the sex of a person without spending a whole lot of money for a DNA test.  Our urine is exactly the same as the real stuff.  The trick is to get the urine to the correct temperature.  Our products do that perfectly. 

 

  • Is the dehydrated urine the same as the pre-mixed that comes in the flask?  Yes, the two forms of synthetic are one and the same.  The only difference is that the premixed has been sterilized.  They both contain everything that the body produces naturally.  As long as the instructions are followed to the “T”, you should have no issues.

 

  • Will your fetish urine pass as real?  Rest assured that the artificial urine in all of the Serious Monkey Business products will pass as the real thing.  It is really the best on the market in this field.  You should have absolutely no issues, as long as the urine is at the correct temperature!  Urine leaves your body at 98.6 degrees.  You will want the temperature strip on the product to read between 98 and 100 degrees.  Your body is the main heating source.  You have to wear the device with the temperature strip touching your skin.  Your body alone will bring the temperature up to around 90 to 94 degrees.  The heat pad is specially formulated to bring the urine up to 100 degrees.  The heat pad should be stuck to the vinyl bladder, on the side opposite of the temperature strip.  Allow 45 minutes to an hour to reach the right temperature.  Trust the strip to be accurate.  Check it before you use it.  Once it has reached the correct temperature, it will remain at that temperature for about eight hours. 

 

  • Why does this product grow bacteria and others don’t?  Other products are not as complete as ours.  Ph.-balanced colored water does not grow bacteria!

 

  • Can the sample be reheated?  This product can be reheated and cooled an unlimited amount of times, as long as the urine has not been exposed to air.


Temperature

  • Do I need to use your heat pads?  Urine should read 98-100 degrees.  Your body alone will bring it up to about 94 degrees.  Our heat pads will get it up the last few degrees and it will allow for it to remain at that temperature for up to eight hours.  Most heat pads that you will find in a store are designed to run at a much higher temperature and will over heat the sample.

 

  • Why does the flask need to be next to my body?  Your body is the main heating source for the flask.  The temperature strip side should face your body with the heat pad on the side away from your body.

 

  • Can I microwave my kit?  Although we know that some people do microwave our kits, we do not recommend the use of the microwave.  All microwaves are different and all situations are different.  Our heating system is accurate and simple to operate.  It will keep the sample at 98º to 100º for about eight (8) hours. 

 


Product Freshness & Expiration Date

  • How long is the product good for once the safety seal has been removed?  Once the sample has been opened and exposed to air, you should treat it like a carton of milk.  It will immediately start growing bacteria.  After a day or two, the sample will show that it is not fresh, or that you have one terribly bad urinary infection.  If you put the sample in the refrigerator, you can save it for a few days tops. 

 

  • Do your kits expire?  Kits usually have a lifespan of approximately one year from the date of purchase.  Our Monkey Whizz and our Monkey Flask should reflect a “use by” date at the bottom of the box.  

 

  • Once I have mixed your Monkey Urine Powder with water, how long is it good for?  Generally, the urine would be good for about twenty-four (24) hours from the time the urine is mixed. 

 

 

  • I bought a Monkey Whizz about a year ago and it says it has a year shelf life.  It is just over a year; would it still be good?  The Monkey Whizz should still be bacteria free, as long as it hasn’t been opened.  The reason we give it a one-year shelf life is that the water molecules evaporate through the vinyl bladder and after about 18 months, the urine can become too concentrated and dark in color.

 

  • How long will the Monkey Whizz be good to use after you cut the hose if you keep the clamp on it?  The Monkey Whizz will remain bacteria free as long as no outside air is allowed to enter the bladder.  Both the plug and clips prevent that from happening.  If you cut off the plug, just be extra careful with the clips.  Once you have cut the plug, make sure that you do not move the clips around. Doing so, would allow for air to enter the bladder, which could contaminate the sample.  You should be able to tell when a sample becomes contaminated.  It will become cloudy with stuff swirling around inside.

 

  • How long is this product good for? As long as the kit is not exposed to air, the sample will be good for about one year from the time it was purchased.

 


Using the Monkey Dong

  • Why does the Monkey Dong need to be next to my body?  Your body is the main heating source for the flask.  The temperature strip side should face your body with the heat pad on the side away from your body.

 

  • I have a Monkey Dong; can I practice with it before I go use it?  Yes, of course!  We recommend that you practice with your Monkey Dong by simply using it with water.  Take the kit out and get comfortable with how it works and how it feels on your body.  The Monkey Dong comes with four (4) heat pads, so you should be able to use one so that you can become aware of how it works and how long it takes to get to the correct temperature.

 

  • Can I use real urine with my Monkey Dong?  Yes, you may.  If you are going to use someone’s urine, we can guarantee that if the kit is used correctly, the urine will be at the correct temperature. 

 

  • How can I measure out 90 ccs when the syringe you provide only holds 60 ccs?  You will have to use the syringe two times.  Make sure that you use only 90ccs and no more.  You can do two measurements of 45ccs or one of 60ccs and one of 30ccs.  Either way, the total must be 90ccs.

 


Shipping

Our office is open Monday through Friday, 9:00am5:00pm PST.  Any orders received during business hours will ship that same day.  Any orders received outside of our regular business hours will ship the next business day.  Please use the table below to calculate your delivery date.

 


Ship Date

FedEx Priority Overnight Delivery

FedEx Standard Overnight Delivery

FedEx 2nd Day Delivery

FedEx Express Saver Delivery

Monday

Deliver Tuesday

Deliver Tuesday

Deliver Wednesday

Deliver Thursday

Tuesday

Deliver Wednesday

Deliver Wednesday

Deliver Thursday

Deliver Friday

Wednesday

Delivery Thursday

Deliver Thursday

Deliver Friday

Deliver Monday

Thursday

Deliver Friday

Deliver  Friday

Delivery Monday

Deliver Tuesday

Friday

Deliver Monday

Deliver Monday

Deliver Tuesday

Deliver Wednesday

 

Returns

  • How do I return the product that I ordered? Serious Monkey Bizzness will issue a full refund, minus the shipping charges, for any unopened products returned to us within 30 days of the original order.  Any returns should be sent to (our address) Please get a tracking number in case you return gets lost in the mail.

 



Privacy & Confidentiality

  • We understand. Serious Monkey Bizzness understands their customers and provides them the ultimate privacy and confidentiality. There is no need to worry about anything when ordering from the Serious Monkey Bizzness. If you have any questions please contact us.

 

  • What does the shipping label say in the "FROM" section? All packages will display the shipper "FROM" as Doug Harrison and make no reference to Serious Monkey Bizzness to protect your privacy.

 

  • What will my Credit Card Statement say? Your Credit Card Statement will make no reference to Serious Monkey Bizzness to protect your privacy.

 

  • Is your Website secure? Yes, Serious Monkey Bizzness has been validated to have a secure SSL certificate which provides industry standard data encryption of information transferred from your computer to the website.

 

  • Is my personal information safe? Yes, Serious Monkey Bizzness does not sell or distribute any personal information, email addresses or save customer credit card information.


Why Is Serious Monkey Bizzness the Best?

  • We only sell products that work
  • Lowest prices guaranteed
  • Fair price! (usually 1/2 the price of other devices)
  • Fast inexpensive overnight delivery
  • Discrete billing, shipping & packaging
  • Over 15 years’ experience in the business
  • Proven track record over 15 years
  • 1000’s of satisfied customers
  • Our customers are our number one priority
  • We DO NOT retain, distribute or sell your personal information


What Makes The Monkey Dong Superior!

The Monkey Dong is the highest quality strap-on urinating device on the market and it won’t break your budget. It is far better than the so-called competition in many ways. It is not just about “clean pee” it’s also about temperature, Ph, foam, urine color, dick color, silent valve & leak proof. The Monkey Dong has taken all these vital aspects into consideration not to mention the price is ½ what you pay for the other devices out there.


Features

  • Correct uric acid
  • Correct liquid color
  • Correct amount of foaming
  • Correct ph.
  • Correct specific gravity
  • Realistic prosthetic penis
  • Correct skin tones
  • Internal silent squeeze valve that can be operated with only one hand
  • External safety valve to prevent premature discharge
  • Made with medical grade materials
  • No vinyl smells
  • Belts are made with high quality woven elastic (fit up to a 52” waist)
  • Temperature strips have large easily read numbers
  • Heat pads are specially made to run at body temperature (not hand warmers that overheat)
  • Heat pads are self-adhesive (not rubber bands)
  • Provide the best customer service
  • 800 number on the box
  • Same day shipping
  • Discrete shipping
  • Secure shopping
  • Credit card fraud protection
  • Privacy protection
  • Fair price! (usually 1/2 the price of other devices)


What Makes Your Synthetic Urine Superior


Our urine is the best synthetic urine available. We have the most complete formula. It has everything that real urine has except for DNA. Our competitor’s urine is mostly only water, creatine, and coloring. We do not use biocides to keep it fresh. Ours is sterilized so, when it is exposed to the atmosphere, it will grow bacteria, just like real urine does.

  • Correct uric acid
  • Correct color
  • Correct amount of foaming
  • Correct ph.
  • Correct scent